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Thursday, 12 March 2020

The Young Detective

Task Description:Today in writing me and my class shared our Young detective writing with each other so they would leave a comment on what they thought or thinked about our writing leaving a comment you ask this is what it is leaving a peer editing comment like Action Fix up all sentences so they are correct each comment you leave is from each columm like Correct Sentences Punctuation Vocabulary Organisation and structure

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the Entire room. up and down over and under but he could still not find the key. that he has been looking for so he decided to take a break 
So he can clear his head about why and how the key vanished right in front of him. That's impossible so Adam asked his dad where’s the key he said I don't know with a frown on his face.
He said then adam asked his dad for his Detective gear  so what he had in his case was a light with purple vision it could help him see fingerprints or stains of some sort
And his lunch. and the most important detective gear of all time his cane and glasses that will make him look like a real detective so he used all of his time. to think about his missing key so he looked in the book shelf with his other flashlight 
He looked near the safe to see if anyone has been in this room or next to the safe but it was no luck he looked hard and long but he could not find anything in particular he started to call it a day of detective Adam his dad was still sitting on the couch with his finger close to. his mouth adam ask are you coming his dad laughed and laughed while adam was really attempting to go home his dad hummed and hummed and then he just reminded adam that he forgot to look up in the attic or the basement he started saying to dad did you hide it somewhere
His dad said no he keeped on asking him but he was getting tired of it so he went up to the attic first with his trusty cane and bulb light he was bored and tired then he heard something. downstairs a door open he went downstairs to take a look he sees his dad going into the forbidden 2nd basement when we down their adam saw him holding something shiny with a little circle and a pointy bit it was the key 
That he has been looking for three days he was so Angry and furious that he really wanted to run down there and yell at him but no he just wanted to see what's going on down their so he snuck down the stairs sneaked pass the heater and these really creepy paintings which kinda looks like adam looking at his dad 
With the key Adam was so confused of why and who painted one of these. paintings but he had no time to figure it out so he saw his dad holding the key next to this 2nd. heater and adam saw him burning or melting  the key adam jumped from the corner and yelled at him when adam yelled at his dad he was so shocked that he dropped the key adam was. really angry that he was screaming at him and then his dad made a run for it outside when adam ran outside their were balloons cakes lollies and a sign that says happy birthday adam and people
To and when adam said what out loud his dad came up to him told him what’s going on see adam when you lost the key you were to busy looking for it that i’ve tried telling you but you didn’t listen to me because you were to busy for three days i had to cancel all of the birthday parties i set up for you it took a lot of money but who cares so i made a plan that’s why i was doing my detective no face because i needed a plan to lure you outside and i wasn’t Expecting you to yell at me Adam’s dad didn’t get to finished the sentence adam hugged him so hard that dad thought that he was still angry at him but he was so happy and crying that he said sorry for yelling at you and btw did you see any paintings of me looking at you No oh ok The End.

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